I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
