Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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