It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I think my moral compass just broke
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