The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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