This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
