let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
