Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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