i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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