And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
