Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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