I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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