forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
