You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
