I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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