im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
the condom got lost in my hair
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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