I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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