Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
