Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
