I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
