My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
