I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
