I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
one two three fourrrrnication!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
