So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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