Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
