Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
