Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
