Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
