so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
pray to the hookup gods
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
