so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize