I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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