I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
