It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
