So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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