I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I checked into jail on foursquare
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
