you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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