i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
