And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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