Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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