Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There's a naked man in my car right now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
