i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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