I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
