Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
