it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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