Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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