The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
