until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
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just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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