I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
