Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
