this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How does it feel to date your dad?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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