Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
