I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am one with the molecules
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
