Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
