i just wanna soil my oats bro
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
