literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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