chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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