i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
