Don't you send me to vm
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
