Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
