I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
...so i touched it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
