My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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