we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My Sexting was not on an AP level
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
