Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
