you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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