Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
