I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
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He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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