That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
